**Printed without permission
of the unknown author**
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am
a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not
entitle you to anything. If I had known it was going to be this much
trouble, I'd have picked my own cotton.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
I think fireworks should be legal! on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying,
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the
desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any
witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
I want to know which church it is exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking
the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap
or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people
should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
I believe what Monica did with Bill was sex, and this applies even if you
are President of the United States.
And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.